Your First Step: Self-Acceptance

Quite often, I find myself meeting with someone who is desperate for help, but emotionally spent over what they are going through. As they share the battleground, thoughts feel like spaghetti and emotions are fried to the point of numbness. Frustration is so pent up, they are about to explode. As they share their story, a tension rises in their voice. A personal hostility swells within them. The reality is they are angry with themselves. They can’t seem to find a way into freedom and therefore, they are filled with disgust over their lack of progress. A driving thought comes to the surface, saying, “why am I still struggling?” The pain goes even further to ask, “What is wrong with me? I shouldn’t have these problems! I should be over this by now! Why can’t I get it together?” After a complete dump of verbal frustration, they immediately start backpedaling, apologizing for expressing so much negativity. With overtones of religious condemnation, they say, “I know I should be better than this.” As this person gives me room to share my input, my reply often surprises them. What I have to say is simple, yet incredibly powerful, speaking to what they really need in the midst of their battle. “It’s ok that you are not ok.” Some are shocked by this. They are used to receiving the shameful disappointment of others, who wonder why they can’t just get over it. They are also used to hearing about the next three steps they should apply, or a packet of to-do lists they will never be able to fulfill. In the midst of this, many never consider the power of God’s love to first accept them, right where they are in their junk. We’re taught the power of God’s loving acceptance at salvation, but somehow, we lose sight of it for the rest of the journey. Yet this precept cannot be skipped over. The first experience for healing of the heart involves experiencing the complete and unconditional acceptance of God’s love. Unless this environment is set in your heart, you will waste your life trying to heal and change with cycles of self-help steps. The power of love will be missing from your life and you will struggle with a lifetime of self-pressure and frustrated living. Before you take any healing steps, you must learn to engage self-compassion and lovingly accept yourself, right where you are. For more insights, get The Heart Healing Journey: https://markdejesus.com/the-heart-healing-journey-book/