Why This Nihilist Professor Couldn’t Escape God | J. Budziszewski Testimony

Dr. J. Budziszewski wrote a Yale dissertation arguing that morality is invented and free will is an illusion. Then he radically changed his mind. In this conversation, we talk about the story of how a devout young Christian became a nihilist and how God brought him back. He describes himself not as a theoretical atheist but a "practical atheist", that is, someone who conceded God might exist but lived as though He couldn't possibly matter. He explains why his loss of faith had almost nothing to do with intellectual arguments and everything to do with pride, social pressure, and sins he didn't want to repent of, and why he now believes that beneath the "smokescreen" objections he raised, he knew the whole time that God was real. READ: Pandemic of Lunacy: by J. Budziszewski (https://amzn.to/4eRDp48) CHECK OUT: Logos Bible 60 Day Free Trial (https://logos.com/mcdowell) CHAPTERS 00:00 – "I never knew when I stopped believing" 01:19 – A devout Baptist upbringing (baptized by his grandfather) 03:02 – What actually pulled him away (it wasn't the arguments) 05:23 – Practical atheism vs. theoretical atheism 06:57 – The academy's subtle dismissal of Christianity 10:29 – Drifting into unbelief with no single moment 12:46 – Why his return was mercy, not argument 15:32 – Honest objections vs. smokescreens 21:04 – "I knew God was real — even as an atheist" 24:14 – His Yale dissertation: morality is invented 25:19 – How he got hired teaching all this 26:46 – Teaching Aquinas as a nihilist 28:34 – A professor's warning about Nietzsche 31:18 – Why nihilism collapses on itself 34:25 – His marriage and children through the dark years 37:22 – The hypothetical prayer that started it all 39:11 – The idea of evil that broke his worldview 44:02 – God "putting his mind back together" 48:44 – Are students different today? 53:01 – Pandemic of Lunacy: why he wrote it 58:36 – Closing thoughts *Get a MASTERS IN APOLOGETICS or SCIENCE AND RELIGION at BIOLA (https://bit.ly/3LdNqKf) *USE Discount Code [smdcertdisc] for 25% off the BIOLA APOLOGETICS CERTIFICATE program (https://bit.ly/3AzfPFM) *See our fully online UNDERGRAD DEGREE in Bible, Theology, and Apologetics: (https://bit.ly/448STKK) FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA: Twitter: https://x.com/Sean_McDowell TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sean_mcdowell?lang=en Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seanmcdowell/ Website: https://seanmcdowell.org